Relena's Bath 2 Death by Vibrator!
by rjones2818
Summary: Relena and Wufei are having an affair....1x2, 3x4, 5xR


Relena's Bath 2  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own...doing this for fun...sort of.  
  
-Begin Story-  
  
The emergency beeper on Heero's laptop flashed and screeched loudly.   
  
"Get off, dear." Heero panted.  
  
"But I'm about to..." was Duo's hoarse reply.  
  
"I know. But that only goes off in a real emergency. Noin and Sally are the only ones who have the code to set it off."  
  
"Oh, all right." Duo withdrew and slid over to the side of the bed. He played with the latex covering his...ummm...Shiginami, Jr. while Heero went to the laptop. Hitting the enter key after pulling on a tank top, the Japanese pilot saw a video box pop up with Noin's image.  
  
"Heero, there's been a terrible accident at the palace. Relena and Wufei...are...are... dead." Noin let a little sob escape. A single tear streaked down her face.  
  
"Is there anything we can do, Noin?" Heero asked.  
  
"Not tonight. Come to the palace tomorrow. The police want to interview you about Wufei."   
  
"We'll be there by Nine." Heero clicked the box closed and sat with a dumbfounded look on his face.  
  
"So she's dead, Heero? And Wufei, too?" Duo looked amazed at what had happened.  
  
Heero grabbed his spandex shorts. "I'll go tell Trowa and Quatre. We need to be at the palace by Nine.  
  
Duo watched his lover dress and then stared out the window after Heero left. His mind wandered aimlessly for a few minutes and then a thought came to him: "In one fell swoop both of those...."  
  
Duo stopped and turned as he heard the door open. Heero was there along with the other couple. Heero was the only one dressed, and both Trowa and Quatre were obviously ready for something other than mourning.  
  
"What the..." was Duo's question. He couldn't finish it because Heero had landed in his lap and was kissing him with abandon.  
  
Heero pulled back and said "The guys just thought that we might want some company tonight. After all...." Heero grinned wildly.  
  
"You two are finally free!" Trowa smirked as he walked over and glomped the sitting pilots.  
  
Quatre joined the happy threesome and added "Yeah. No more injustice and no more stalking."  
  
Duo looked surprised for just a moment and then smiled "And no more straight people to get shitty about our relationships!"  
  
*-*-*-*-*   
  
The boys arrived at the palace at 8:57 A.M. They looked quite haggard (no sleep and all play make for a tiring night). Noin greeted them and assumed that they looked that way from grieving.  
  
"It's terrible, you guys. It was a freak accident."  
  
Quatre asked "I can't imagine that anyone could get to Relena if Wufei was with her. What happened?"  
  
"Well, apparently the two of them were having an affair." Noin blushed and the pilots all looked shocked.  
  
"Traitor" Heero mumbled under his breath.  
  
Noin continued "Relena was in her bath and Wufei had joined her. He apparently brought he a gift."  
  
"And...." Trowa urged.  
  
"Well the gift was an Acme Super Heavy-Duty Deluxe Heavy Duty Muscle Relaxer."  
  
"Don't tell me. It was a plug in" was Duo's sightly bemused statement.  
  
Noin smirked ever so slightly as she continued. "The box claimed that it was absolutely waterproof. But, Acme quality being what it is, there was a nick at the point where the cord met the vibrator."  
  
"You mean the stupid onnas actually used that thing in the bath?" Quatre shook his head. "And when the cord hit the water..."  
  
"Poof!" Noin snickered.  
  
"Shocking" Heero smirked.  
  
"Electrifying" Duo chimed in.  
  
"It made their hair stand on end!" Trowa burst out laughing.  
  
Quatre by this time was doubled over and couldn't continue the slinging. The others were also laughing heartily.   
  
Noin finally continued "Poor Sally was almost in shock after I told her that they had died. By the time I explained how it had happened she was rolling on the floor, too."  
  
"What do the cops want?" Heero asked, still slightly out of breath.  
  
Noin answered "They just want a statement from you guys about Wufei's actions the past couple of months. They want to make sure it wasn't a suicide. You guys know that Wufei used to hit on me by talking about his 'Dick of Death."  
  
Quatre giggled "Then it's only justice that they died because they wanted to use an aid instead of the real thing."  
  
"God, I'm glad their gone!" Duo mentioned cheerfully as the five headed out the door to the interviews with the police.  
  
-End Story- 


End file.
